Are you willing to fail?

Several years ago, Robert Kiyosaki, author of Rich Dad, Poor Dad and numerous books on financial intelligence, was on Oprah speaking about the power of starting your own business. One of the audience members indignantly challenged Robert saying, “What would you say about the fact that one out of ten businesses fail?” Robert said something like, “Well, then I guess I’m gonna have to start ten businesses.”

Add to that my all-time favorite TV commercial (you got to check it out- YouTube link) with Michael Jordan saying, “I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.”

Successful people are not afraid to fail. They do not get all neurotic and say, “I started that business and it failed. Shame on me. I will never do that again.” They simply learn from it and move on to another opportunity.

Same with relationships. How many people give up after a “failed” relationship? They break up or get a divorce and interpret it as a failure. They say, “I guess love is not meant for me.” No… they simply did not possess the necessary skills and awareness, yet. Ironically, the skills and awareness that only come from experience. What kinds of experiences? Failures.

Successful people seem to view it differently. They see failure as a positive thing. They see it as an opportunity to learn and to ultimately succeed. It is business to them- they take risks and realize that some will fail and some will succeed. They do not dwell on failure; they simply move on. They do not let some measly failure deter them from what they are after.

So give it another shot- the next one will likely be a grand slam. After all… what have you got to lose?

Tired of resolutions? Try intentions this new year

People are tired of resolutions. When I ask people, they say, “I never follow through with them, so why bother? They seem demoralized- like they have given up. This year take some the pressure off by creating intentions.

Resolutions are typically negative- that is they are about not doing something anymore. Quit smoking, staying up late, or overeating. Or they could be positive and unexciting- like exercise more. Largely, resolutions have become a drag.

Intentions are long-term and hopeful. They are declarations of things that you are going to create in your life- say over the next year.

So my challenge is to create three intentions of things you are going to create in your life this coming year. Then carry those intentions with you- until you actualize them. It starts you thinking about what is important to you, what you want, and what the next step in your life is. These are essential things to be considering this during this introspective time of year.

You could make it even more fun (and less threatening) by saying to your friend,”If you could create any three things in your life this coming year- what would they be.” There is no pressure or risk of failure to be had. You could do that at a New Year’s Eve party. We want to entice your mind to dream again.

So I’ll go first. This coming year, I want to finish my book, enjoy my meditations (and take them deeper), and discover a new arena to work with people in. Plus, I have a secret one that I am not going to share. Remember, it has to be playful and fun.

What we do with our life is vitally important- but it does not have to be heavy. Life is meant to be enjoyed. When we make our goals all heavy and burdensome, it is no wonder that we will not want to do them.

What are your three intentions for the coming year?

Fear of failure and fear of success

It’s football season again and within the past couple of weeks, two of the arguably best players of all time spoke about how the fear of failure has affected them.

Jerry Rice (website link) said in his Hall of Fame speech, “I was afraid to fail. I’m here to tell you that the fear of failure is the engine that has driven me throughout my entire life. … Not wanting to disappoint my parents and later my coaches, is what pushed me to be successful.” (sfgate.com link of full interview)

Brett Favre (website link) identified the fear of failure as the thing that held him up from about returning to play this year. He stated on national TV during last weeks preseason game, “I can only control what I do, but I don’t want to fail.” (NBC Sports)

So Jerry Rice spoke of this fear as his ally. Brett Favre spoke of it as something he had to overcome. But what about the rest of us? How does fear of failure affect us?

Fear of failure is often prevents us from even trying (like it almost did for Brett). This of course becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy for our “I will fail” belief system. It often comes from the fear of disapointing someone that we wanted to be proud of us (like it was for Jerry).

Bart Anderson, spiritual teacher, was listening to his students speak about the fear of failure one day. He wasn’t buying it. He said, “People who are afraid of failure are usually really successful.” (Hmm… like Jerry Rice or Brett Favre?) He continued, “You (referring to the students) have created an awful lot of failure for people that are afraid of it. It seems more like a comfort zone for you. You are afraid of success.”

The fear of success is the fear of having to challenge your belief systems about yourself and subsequently having to reevaluate everything.

Whichever it is for you, what matters is that you overcome it. Both football greats did. After all, it is only fear and not real- no need to have it control your life.