Where is everybody?

So where is everybody?

In their own little worlds.

Why don’t they come out?

I don’t know. I imagine it’s nice in there.

Don’t they miss exploring and discovering?

Oh, I could never do that

Sure you could. You just tell yourself that you cannot so you don’t have to consider it. When we think of doing something we are drawn to, but is out of our comfort zone, it creates conflict and tension. Plus, there is the fear of doing it. The most convenient way to alleviate the tension and fear is to take away the thing we are drawn to. Such is the death of many possibilities, invitations, and ideas- before they ever get a chance.

If we would just be willing to endure the tension and fear for a little while, some of these possibilities might stand a chance. But many of us have become wimps when it comes to such tension and fear. Much easier to dismiss it with nary a thought.

An unfortunate by-product of this is that we are continually telling ourselves that we cannot do things. Pretty soon we start believing it. Before long, we create a belief system that we are incapable. When you think about it, it is easier to be incapable. We don’t have to take responsibility for our choices.

One way to break this tendency is to own that you that you could do it, but do not want to. Or that you could do it, but it would be really scary. Or you might fail. Or it would be really hard. And so forth. At least this way, you are being honest with yourself. You are giving to yourself straight. And you are forcing yourself to deal with the possibilities that are presenting themselves to you.

Although that is rarely comfortable either. I suppose if you want access to the doorways that are opening themselves to you, you may have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Arterial bleeding

It is the perfect time of year to re-evaluate whether or not the things in your life still serve you. We are creatures of habit. Often we continue to do things out of obligation. Perhaps we agreed to do something back when we had other priorities in our lives. Or maybe we just continue to do things without thinking much about it. It is just what we do. And now it has become comfortable.

The only problem is doing these things may no longer be relevant. You have changed. What is important you has changed. But yet you are still doing what you decided to do when you had different priorities. It may be time for an update.

It is the natural time of year for introspection. The days are short. It is the perfect time to go inside. And while you’re in there, take a look at how you spend your time, energy, and resources. Are those things still serving you? Are they getting you closer to what is important to you?

Things that no longer serve you drain your time, energy, and resources. They are like arterial bleeding. They squander your precious life force. They sap your strength.

Giving up the things that no longer serve you stops the bleeding. It allows you to build energy and momentum for something new. New possibilities will begin to present themselves to you in the spring. If you stop the bleeding now, you will have the vitality to pursue the new stuff.

Seems like a small price to pay for new beginnings…

Good teachers are artists

Are you a teachable teacher? Are you open to learning when you are teaching or explaining something? The best teachers I have met are always willing to learn- while they are teaching. They are willing to challenge and expand their truth. My all-time favorite teacher once thanked me for all the things he learned while he was teaching me.

Many teachers, counselors, consultants, and parents are relatively set in their way of teaching. It is up to the student to flex into their way of doing things. The teacher is, after all, the master or expert.  This static approach of teaching is limited.

Different people learn in different ways. The way the teacher learned may not make sense to the student. Effective teachers are willing to teach from the perspective of the student. They get into the student’s world with them and explore with them a way to learn the material. Many times the teacher may not know ahead of time how he/she and the student are going to connect the dots. This takes a willingness to trust yourself in finding an inroad with the student.

Each time the teacher is willing to discover a new way of presenting the material, his/her understanding of the subject expands. Because the teacher was willing to get out of their own world (comfort zone), they see the material from a new perspective. The perspectives of the student and teacher often have a synergistic effect on each other. They team up and collaborate to solve the challenges together. Growth to both parties in inevitable.

And… good teachers are artists. They will creatively present the material in a number of ways until the student gets it. They rarely teach things the same way. This selfless stretching to adapt to the student allows the teacher and the student to have breakthroughs and discoveries.

It is what keeps the teaching fresh and relevant (and not boring).

Getting involved creates connections

Whenever you get involved in something, it creates connections with other people. The higher the number and depth of connections, the stronger and more grounded you are- whether in business, or socially in a community.

The other night the Jacuzzi was not working at the gym I go to. Some of the people started to talk negatively about the gym and how they were cutting costs. Being a small business owner, I shared this with the manager. (In other words- I got involved.) Later she saw me and we spoke further about it. We talked about the business of the gym. Although, I did not intend it, I now have a new friend and business associate. If I did not get involved, we would likely have never met.

Getting involved almost always brings connections as a side benefit. From one perspective, getting involved creates a reason to engage with people. The connection(s) created are almost always worth the time and energy you expend getting involved.

The thing it reminds me of is making up some reason to talk to a pretty girl I wanted to meet. Getting involved is a nonthreatening reason to talk to people. Once you start talking to them and learning more about them, all kinds of cool things can happen. You can join forces in different ways and create win-win scenarios. You can be friends. You can be business associates. You can go out.

Just have to get over that inhibition and comfort zone long enough to get involved. Could be as easy as saying “hi” while waiting in line. Or paying some one a sincere compliment. Or offering to give someone a hand.

You should be looking for opportunities do these things all the time. You will be shocked with the connections that begin to open up to you.