Stop apologizing for yourself

Nov 7th, 2011No Comments

What if there was nothing wrong with you? Only that you believe there is something wrong with you. Your human qualities are what distinguish you from other people. Why would you apologize for them?

If other people have issues with you, they are, after all, their issues. Not to say that you may not want to change something about yourself- but do it on your terms. Not because somebody else would prefer that you did- so they could be more comfortable.

We are trained that way. If something is wrong, it must be someone’s fault. And some of us are in the habit to take the blame. It often goes back to a role we took in our family of origin. But that was when we were young and needed to do so to feel loved. At this point it may be a habit that no longer serves you.

And there are many that love it when you take the blame. Then they do not have to be accountable to themselves. Enabling someone like this takes away their opportunity to learn the lessons they need to. So whether they are a significant other, family member, or child- do not let them off the hook. It prevents them from developing character and strength. And it gives away your personal power.

Of course like all habits, ceasing to apologize for yourself may require you to get out of your comfort zone. Most worthwhile things do. If you pay attention, you will increase your awareness and start noticing yourself apologizing for yourself. At first you may notice it after you do it. But if you stay with it, you will start to notice right before you are about to apologize for yourself. Then you have the choice to not do it. Why not give it a shot? See what happens.

Besides, maybe you are just perfect for where you are at.

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About author:

Michael Hoffman’s passion is guiding people to connect with their natural gifts. He believes that we all have innate gifts that hugely benefit others and the world when we offer them. The purest example of these gifts is the Native American concept of medicine or the gift you offer your people. Michael defines your medicine or gift as the natural effect you have on other people when your heart is open. Unfortunately, the demands of our current culture to comply and fit in often distract people away from their inherent gifts and the natural expression of their being. Michael believes many of us have forgotten our dreams and what we are about. This sadly results in a loss of purpose, passion, and vitality. As an innate gift specialist, Michael offers retreats, classes, and individual sessions to allow people to reclaim their natural gifts. These venues allow people to identify, awaken, and offer their gifts. This experiential work incorporates Zen thought, Native American ceremony, rites-of-passage, and releasing limiting belief systems. Michael also maintains his meta blog to provide knowledge, skills, and awareness for unfolding your natural gifts. He is currently compiling this knowledge and research into a college class and book. Michael earned his Bachelor of Science in Psychology in 1987 and Master of Social Work in 1996. He is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. In addition to his formal education, Michael studied and apprenticed with a Zen Master and spiritual teacher for 22 years to learn how to guide people to understand themselves. He has worked with people professionally since 1986 as a psychotherapist and teacher. Michael currently resides in Oceanside, California.

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