Regret: the only emotion you cannot resolve

Apr 7th, 2011No Comments

Doors open and doors close. Possibilities present themselves to us and we either have the courage to step into them or we do not. Most of the time there isn’t even much of a commitment required at the beginning. So we just have to be willing to walk through a doorway to explore if there is something there for us.

But in order to do this we have to overcome our inhibition- our fear of someone not liking us. Or judging or ridiculing us.

The difficult part of not walking through a doorway is that you likely feel regret. I wonder what it would have been like if I asked her out? I wonder what it would be like if I had explored that opportunity oversees or started that business I thought about?

You will never know. You cannot resolve regret. It eventually has to get translated as a loss. You can try to reclaim it, but it will never be quite the same.

So next time a door opens, why not check it out? Just walk in and explore it for a while. Take it for a test drive.

It is not a trap. It is more of our inhibition and fear that creates the illusion that it is a trap. If it is not for you, leave. Ever walk into an appointment, see evidence and feel that the person/services will not work for you, say this will not work, and leave? Why not? It is a little awkward, but sure beats getting a bad meal or bad haircut. Or leaving your kids with someone that is unreliable.

So check out opens doorways when they present themselves to you. Live free of regrets. Then you will never have to wonder what it would have been like.

, , , , , , , , Understanding Emotion
About author:

Michael Hoffman’s passion is guiding people to connect with their natural gifts. He believes that we all have innate gifts that hugely benefit others and the world when we offer them. The purest example of these gifts is the Native American concept of medicine or the gift you offer your people. Michael defines your medicine or gift as the natural effect you have on other people when your heart is open. Unfortunately, the demands of our current culture to comply and fit in often distract people away from their inherent gifts and the natural expression of their being. Michael believes many of us have forgotten our dreams and what we are about. This sadly results in a loss of purpose, passion, and vitality. As an innate gift specialist, Michael offers retreats, classes, and individual sessions to allow people to reclaim their natural gifts. These venues allow people to identify, awaken, and offer their gifts. This experiential work incorporates Zen thought, Native American ceremony, rites-of-passage, and releasing limiting belief systems. Michael also maintains his meta blog to provide knowledge, skills, and awareness for unfolding your natural gifts. He is currently compiling this knowledge and research into a college class and book. Michael earned his Bachelor of Science in Psychology in 1987 and Master of Social Work in 1996. He is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. In addition to his formal education, Michael studied and apprenticed with a Zen Master and spiritual teacher for 22 years to learn how to guide people to understand themselves. He has worked with people professionally since 1986 as a psychotherapist and teacher. Michael currently resides in Oceanside, California.

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