Judgement is projecting our fear onto others

Apr 25th, 2011No Comments

Other people do the darndest things. Often what they do makes absolutely no sense to us. But it does to them. In fact, the world may look vastly different to them than it does to you. We tend to judge others when they do things differently than we do. Judgement always causes separation. When you break it down, when we judge someone- we are condemning them.

So why is someone else doing something differently so threatening to us, anyway? Is it that we created rules to manage our life (and our fears), and become frightened when someone breaks one of our rules? Afraid of what is going to happen. The outcome is unknown and we may not be able to control it (fear of the unknown). Plus, it might cause us to have have to reevaluate our rules- and that could be scary.

Besides, if we truly believed in our way of doing things, we would not take issue with someone doing something differently. But we figure if we can get someone else to believe it, maybe we can believe it ourselves.

But either way, working our judgment out via others is an intrusive and destructive way to address what is ultimately our issue. Judgement is taking our stuff and projecting it onto someone else. Not cool.

So next time you observe yourself judging someone, why not go directly to the source- you. Resist tearing someone down and see it as an opportunity to look at yourself. Why does their view, comment, or behavior bother you? What are you afraid of?

Then you can celebrate the way they do it- and learn from it. Different can be good. Diversity always makes us stronger.

After all, they are just folks trying to find a way through life. At least you have that in common.

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About author:

Michael Hoffman’s passion is guiding people to connect with their natural gifts. He believes that we all have innate gifts that hugely benefit others and the world when we offer them. The purest example of these gifts is the Native American concept of medicine or the gift you offer your people. Michael defines your medicine or gift as the natural effect you have on other people when your heart is open. Unfortunately, the demands of our current culture to comply and fit in often distract people away from their inherent gifts and the natural expression of their being. Michael believes many of us have forgotten our dreams and what we are about. This sadly results in a loss of purpose, passion, and vitality. As an innate gift specialist, Michael offers retreats, classes, and individual sessions to allow people to reclaim their natural gifts. These venues allow people to identify, awaken, and offer their gifts. This experiential work incorporates Zen thought, Native American ceremony, rites-of-passage, and releasing limiting belief systems. Michael also maintains his meta blog to provide knowledge, skills, and awareness for unfolding your natural gifts. He is currently compiling this knowledge and research into a college class and book. Michael earned his Bachelor of Science in Psychology in 1987 and Master of Social Work in 1996. He is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. In addition to his formal education, Michael studied and apprenticed with a Zen Master and spiritual teacher for 22 years to learn how to guide people to understand themselves. He has worked with people professionally since 1986 as a psychotherapist and teacher. Michael currently resides in Oceanside, California.

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