Your first responsibility is to yourself

Aug 23rd, 2010No Comments

Before we can be of service to anyone else, we have to take care of ourselves. I call this keep ourselves intact. This includes: taking care of our emotional needs; taking care of ourselves financially; attending to our health; not allowing others to mistreat us.

I like to use the metaphor of the mother lioness. What is the first thing she does when she kills dinner for her cubs? She eats her fill. She knows that if she is not strong and healthy, she cannot hunt or care for her cubs.

Being selfless is great. Uplifting others and making a difference in other people’s lives may be our highest calling. But how can you do this effectively if you do not take care of yourself? Otherwise it just turns into martyrdom- which eventually ends up not being healthy for anyone.

We all have emotional needs. We have things that recharge our batteries. We have to attend to these things on a regular basis. This ultimately gets down to living a balanced life.

Yes, life can get busy. If you are raising children, it may feel like there is no time for yourself. But there has to be. If you do not take care of your emotional needs, you will start meeting them though interacting with your children. This creates confusion and emotional issues for your children. If you are in a helping profession, the same thing applies. You have to meet your emotional needs- outside of your clients or students.

If you are in a crisis, take care of it. But return to your balanced state and recharge your batteries as soon as the crisis passes.

Because… there are people counting on you. If you do not take care of yourself, how can you possibly be there for them?

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About author:

Michael Hoffman’s passion is guiding people to connect with their natural gifts. He believes that we all have innate gifts that hugely benefit others and the world when we offer them. The purest example of these gifts is the Native American concept of medicine or the gift you offer your people. Michael defines your medicine or gift as the natural effect you have on other people when your heart is open. Unfortunately, the demands of our current culture to comply and fit in often distract people away from their inherent gifts and the natural expression of their being. Michael believes many of us have forgotten our dreams and what we are about. This sadly results in a loss of purpose, passion, and vitality. As an innate gift specialist, Michael offers retreats, classes, and individual sessions to allow people to reclaim their natural gifts. These venues allow people to identify, awaken, and offer their gifts. This experiential work incorporates Zen thought, Native American ceremony, rites-of-passage, and releasing limiting belief systems. Michael also maintains his meta blog to provide knowledge, skills, and awareness for unfolding your natural gifts. He is currently compiling this knowledge and research into a college class and book. Michael earned his Bachelor of Science in Psychology in 1987 and Master of Social Work in 1996. He is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. In addition to his formal education, Michael studied and apprenticed with a Zen Master and spiritual teacher for 22 years to learn how to guide people to understand themselves. He has worked with people professionally since 1986 as a psychotherapist and teacher. Michael currently resides in Oceanside, California.

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