Before we can be of service to anyone else, we have to take care of ourselves. I call this keep ourselves intact. This includes: taking care of our emotional needs; taking care of ourselves financially; attending to our health; not allowing others to mistreat us.

I like to use the metaphor of the mother lioness. What is the first thing she does when she kills dinner for her cubs? She eats her fill. She knows that if she is not strong and healthy, she cannot hunt or care for her cubs.

Being selfless is great. Uplifting others and making a difference in other people’s lives may be our highest calling. But how can you do this effectively if you do not take care of yourself? Otherwise it just turns into martyrdom- which eventually ends up not being healthy for anyone.

We all have emotional needs. We have things that recharge our batteries. We have to attend to these things on a regular basis. This ultimately gets down to living a balanced life.

Yes, life can get busy. If you are raising children, it may feel like there is no time for yourself. But there has to be. If you do not take care of your emotional needs, you will start meeting them though interacting with your children. This creates confusion and emotional issues for your children. If you are in a helping profession, the same thing applies. You have to meet your emotional needs- outside of your clients or students.

If you are in a crisis, take care of it. But return to your balanced state and recharge your batteries as soon as the crisis passes.

Because… there are people counting on you. If you do not take care of yourself, how can you possibly be there for them?

About author:

Michael Hoffman’s passion is guiding people to create the life that they want. The demands of our current culture often take people away from their dreams and the individual expression of their being. Michael believes people have left behind some essential elements of being human including connecting with and genuinely caring about each other.As a transformational speaker, Michael conducts “Metamorphosis” retreats, classes, and individual and couples sessions to allow people to reclaim the life they want. These venues allow people to see the possibilities and inroads available to them. Participants are walked through their entire change process or metamorphosis into their desired life. The experiential work draws primarily on Zen thought, Native American ceremony, rites-of-passage, personal belief systems, and Jungian dream-work and symbolism.Michael also maintains a “meta blog” to provide knowledge, skills and awareness for unfolding your new life. He is compiling his knowledge of emotional and spiritual development into books to further assist people in creating a more harmonious and cooperative way of life.Michael earned his Bachelor of Science in Psychology in 1987 and Master of Social Work in 1996. Michael is a licensed clinical social worker (LICSW) in the state of Washington. In addition to his formal education, Michael studied and apprenticed with a Zen Master and spiritual teacher for 22 years to learn how to affect change with people. He has worked with people professionally since 1986- mostly as a psychotherapist.Michael currently resides in Spokane, Washington.

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