Ask “who, what and why” to understand interactions

Aug 2nd, 2010No Comments

Someone approaches you. They seem drawn to you. You want both of you to get value from your interaction. They speak to you…

Try asking yourself Who, What, and Why:

Who is this person? See them as they are. Let go of your preconceptions of them. Let go of how you need them to be. If you are open and pay attention, people will always tell you who they are.

What are they saying to me? Listen beyond the words. Hear their intent.

Why are they saying this to me? They could have said this to someone else- they picked you. This is discerning who you are “in relation to” them. It is understanding your present connection with them. From this comes what role to take with them. You have to feel this- it comes from your instincts and intuition. You have to trust what you are feeling. It may not make sense intellectually.

This can also be a powerful tool if you are stuck in a relationship with unfinished business. Simply start over with them- that is take everything you thought you knew about the person and discard it. Ask the questions: Who are they? What are they trying to say to me? Why are they trying to work that out with me? Think back to some of your interactions and see them in a new light.

Or… if you sense that you are drawn to or have unresolved issues with someone, flip the questions and ask them of yourself: Who is this person? What am I trying to say to them? Why am I saying it to them? Determine what they represent to you and if they are willing and able to provide you with what you need.

The discernment gleaned from these questions can help us get what we need from each other. We can help each other along on our journeys through life.

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About author:

Michael Hoffman’s passion is guiding people to connect with their natural gifts. He believes that we all have innate gifts that hugely benefit others and the world when we offer them. The purest example of these gifts is the Native American concept of medicine or the gift you offer your people. Michael defines your medicine or gift as the natural effect you have on other people when your heart is open. Unfortunately, the demands of our current culture to comply and fit in often distract people away from their inherent gifts and the natural expression of their being. Michael believes many of us have forgotten our dreams and what we are about. This sadly results in a loss of purpose, passion, and vitality. As an innate gift specialist, Michael offers retreats, classes, and individual sessions to allow people to reclaim their natural gifts. These venues allow people to identify, awaken, and offer their gifts. This experiential work incorporates Zen thought, Native American ceremony, rites-of-passage, and releasing limiting belief systems. Michael also maintains his meta blog to provide knowledge, skills, and awareness for unfolding your natural gifts. He is currently compiling this knowledge and research into a college class and book. Michael earned his Bachelor of Science in Psychology in 1987 and Master of Social Work in 1996. He is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. In addition to his formal education, Michael studied and apprenticed with a Zen Master and spiritual teacher for 22 years to learn how to guide people to understand themselves. He has worked with people professionally since 1986 as a psychotherapist and teacher. Michael currently resides in Oceanside, California.

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