Check your propensity for the negative

Jul 2nd, 2010No Comments

Is it half-full or half-empty? Do you focus on the people that like you, or the people that don’t like you? Do you focus on the 10 positive things in your employee review, or the 1 negative? Do you focus on the things you have, or the things you don’t have? Many of us focus on the negative. We have a “propensity of the negative.”

Why? The negative resonates with our negative self-belief system- that thing that tells us that there is something wrong with us- that we are deficient in some way. Then we project that negative view onto people and situations.

And… negative choices are reinforced more naturally than positive ones. When we make a poor decision, we are painfully made aware of its consequences. I speed; I get a ticket. One-hundred some bucks and my insurance goes up. How could I be so stupid?

But… positive choices are more subtle and nebulous. We often never realize the grief that a simple positive decision spares us. We decide to stop driving for the night because we are tired. We never get the information that if we would have continued, we would have been in a accident that would have killed a family member. The negative gets reinforced; the positive does not.

There have been numerous studies that appreciating what you have is a major indicator for happiness. Positive thoughts allow you to see possibilities and create the life that you want. (The Secret and Law of Attraction speak to this.) Recognizing the positive in others makes a huge difference in their lives and even creates hope for them (because most of the other people they know are pointing out the negative in them). Yet we continue to focus on the negative. How come?

It is a habit. Nothing more, nothing less. You can change a habit if you choose to. They say you can rewire your brain in about 30 days. There are numerous therapists, coaches, books, and programs that can help you change it. Or do it yourself- pay attention to and become aware of how you view things and make a different choice.

So which do you choose: half-full or half-empty? This is quite possibly the most important choice you make- over and over and over…

, , , , , , , , Communication with Self
About author:

Michael Hoffman’s passion is guiding people to connect with their natural gifts. He believes that we all have innate gifts that hugely benefit others and the world when we offer them. The purest example of these gifts is the Native American concept of medicine or the gift you offer your people. Michael defines your medicine or gift as the natural effect you have on other people when your heart is open. Unfortunately, the demands of our current culture to comply and fit in often distract people away from their inherent gifts and the natural expression of their being. Michael believes many of us have forgotten our dreams and what we are about. This sadly results in a loss of purpose, passion, and vitality. As an innate gift specialist, Michael offers retreats, classes, and individual sessions to allow people to reclaim their natural gifts. These venues allow people to identify, awaken, and offer their gifts. This experiential work incorporates Zen thought, Native American ceremony, rites-of-passage, and releasing limiting belief systems. Michael also maintains his meta blog to provide knowledge, skills, and awareness for unfolding your natural gifts. He is currently compiling this knowledge and research into a college class and book. Michael earned his Bachelor of Science in Psychology in 1987 and Master of Social Work in 1996. He is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. In addition to his formal education, Michael studied and apprenticed with a Zen Master and spiritual teacher for 22 years to learn how to guide people to understand themselves. He has worked with people professionally since 1986 as a psychotherapist and teacher. Michael currently resides in Oceanside, California.

All entries by

Leave a Reply