“You only allow as much love as you feel like you deserve.” This is a quote by Bart Anderson, a spiritual teacher that I studied with for many years. So what happens to the love that we that we do not allow? We push it away. In other words, we push people away when they are trying to love us. When someone is getting closer than we are comfortable with, we push them away. We all do it.
So… all we have to do to experience more love in our life is to stop pushing people away when they are trying to love us. Sounds simple enough. And it is simple, but it is not easy.
First we have to identify how we push people away, then see ourselves about to do it, and then stop ourselves from pushing them away. So what are some of the ways we push people way? With judgment, arrogance, pride, sarcasm, mockery, cleverness, and criticism. Yuk! This isn’t so fun anymore.
So the next time you are about to chime in with a snide comment, ask yourself, “Am I trying to push them away?” And if the answer is yes, just keep it to yourself and allow the person to love you. Stop pushing them away. It will likely be a little uncomfortable. Your self-worth will have to expand. But why not give it a shot. You do deserve it. And besides you owe it to yourself and the people that are desperately trying to get close to you.
About author:
Michael Hoffman’s passion is guiding people to connect with their natural gifts. He believes that we all have innate gifts that hugely benefit others and the world when we offer them. The purest example of these gifts is the Native American concept of medicine or the gift you offer your people. Michael defines your medicine or gift as the natural effect you have on other people when your heart is open.
Unfortunately, the demands of our current culture to comply and fit in often distract people away from their inherent gifts and the natural expression of their being. Michael believes many of us have forgotten our dreams and what we are about. This sadly results in a loss of purpose, passion, and vitality.
As an innate gift specialist, Michael offers retreats, classes, and individual sessions to allow people to reclaim their natural gifts. These venues allow people to identify, awaken, and offer their gifts. This experiential work incorporates Zen thought, Native American ceremony, rites-of-passage, and releasing limiting belief systems.
Michael also maintains his meta blog to provide knowledge, skills, and awareness for unfolding your natural gifts. He is currently compiling this knowledge and research into a college class and book.
Michael earned his Bachelor of Science in Psychology in 1987 and Master of Social Work in 1996. He is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. In addition to his formal education, Michael studied and apprenticed with a Zen Master and spiritual teacher for 22 years to learn how to guide people to understand themselves. He has worked with people professionally since 1986 as a psychotherapist and teacher.
Michael currently resides in Oceanside, California.
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I’ve been in and around AA and the 12 step program since 1989. I “get” all that. Developing a relationship within those peremiters, it’s like walking a tight rope and the rope is about to break loose at any moment.
Statistics show high in people living alone and experience lonliness. Dah-it has to be that way in order to survive? Are we all wound just alittle too much? (hyper-sensitive?) Surviving! Which means while surviving, we can’t afford the luzury to dream, so maybe we end up living in a fantisy world.
Good luck with your work. Could it be that we’re pre-destined to fall short of actually experiencing a happy and fulfilling life?
No… Life is meant to be enjoyed and celebrated- dreams have to be a part of that. Surviving is overrated. Where is the fun in that? Dreams are risky- yes. But, we are likely able to make better choices this time around. Thank you for your comment.